Fortune cookies frequently criticize me, directly or indirectly. Here's a fortune I got this month in Florida: "Cleverness is serviceable for everything, sufficient in nothing."
The worst was one I got years ago at SWEN in Northport, Ala.: "The only obstacle in your path may be your stupidity."
I write SWEN in all caps because the name of the restaurant -- a hangout that Sydney and I miss dearly -- stands for South West East North, believe it or not.
My most bizarre SWEN fortune read: "Alas! The onion you are eating is someone else's water lily."